How To Join the Webinar Series
The Last Free Webinar in series on Relationships
ANNOUNCEMENT
• January 7, 2009 (noon, CA time) What to do when your buttons get pushed (part 2)
SUMMARY - WHAT TO DO WHEN LOVE HURTS
(from Susan Campbell, www.susancampbell.com )1. Get familiar with your buttons and accept that we all have buttons. What situations tend to trigger you? How does your body react? What goes on in your mind?
2. Accept the idea that you will at times feel pain over things your partner does; and your partner will at times feel pain, disappointment, disapproval, etc about things that you do.
3. Get familiar with your control patterns—the automatic defensive habits you use to avoid feeling pain, fear, or discomfort. If you see yourself in a control pattern, look for the feeling that you may be trying to avoid. (e.g. judging my dad for being a jerk to avoid feeling my fear of his anger)
4. Vow to notice when your buttons get pushed, and aim to use these situations for healing and self-knowledge, rather than blaming your partner for pushing your buttons.
5. Notice when you get triggered—as close to the event as possible. At times you will be able to actually say "I'm having a reaction," and you may ask your partner, "Can we push pause? I just got a button pushed."
6. As soon as you can, feel whatever you feel or were feeling when the reaction occurred. Stay with the feeling in a self-nurturing way. Feel your bodily sensations, and notice any memories or images that arise—perhaps memories or images of something that happened when you were younger. Be with and comfort "the little one inside of you."
7. When you make this your practice, you will gradually come to trust yourself and the world more. You will not need your old defenses and control patterns—because you are no longer going through life trying to avoid pain and discomfort. So you will be living more in the present. You will get triggered at times, but now you know that this sort of pain or discomfort will not kill you. You're big enough to feel the feelings that may have been too intense or scary to fully experience as a child.
If you gain value from participating and would like to let us know this, please use the DONATE button on our website at www.relationshipcoachingcircles.com You may use a credit card or PayPal. We do have expenses, even though this is a public service and we love doing it. Many thanks ahead of time.
Susan Campbell and Strephon Kaplan-Williams (see bios below) are excited to announce their new skype-based webinar series where you can get proven tools and wise advice on how to have more authentic, satisfying friendship and love relationships. Out first webinar was Wednesday, October 29 at 12 noon US Pacific time (3 pm East coast time) and we are continuing every other week indefinitely, This web-based workshop will be free to our mailing lists (for the time being). Each one-hour program will center around a topic (see topic list below), but there will also be ample time for you to ask questions on issues that are “up” for you. We intend this to be a lively forum for mutual learning and community-building.
Susan and Strephon have a dynamic and entertaining relationship themselves. Though not an intimate couple, they demonstrate authentic relating by how they interact (even when they disagree!) They relate sensitively, with humor, and yet penetrate to the core of each other’s being. See for yourself how much value there is in hanging out with these wisdom teachers.
Topics for the next few webinars are:
· November 12, 2008 (noon, CA time) Is it safe to be honest about BIG differences? (such as “one of us feels basically non-monogamous, and the other feels basically monogamous” or “I want to have a child and my partner doesn’t”)
· November 26, 2008 (noon, CA time) How to ask for what you want without being controlling
· December 10, 2008 (noon, CA time) What to do when your buttons get pushed
Susan Campbell is best known for her recent best-seller, Getting Real:10 Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life, and her first book, The Couple’s Journey, which became an international best seller in 1980. She currently leads Honesty Salons and Getting Real workshops in California and around the world. Susan’s latest book is Saying What’s Real: Seven Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success—a book which shows how to bring all your conversations into the present moment.
Strephon Kaplan-Williams is best known as a dreamwork psychologist and the author of the best sellers, The Dream Cards and Elements of Dreamwork. He approaches relationships through applying dreamwork to the many relationship problems that occur in real life. His latest book coming out in 2008 is called, My Greatest Loves - A Memoir of Ultimate Relationship.
How To Join the Webinar Series
Listen to the Webinar from
October 29, 2008 - Yoga of relationship
Due to software failure, the webinar was recorded only as an audio file.
